10 Mixed Movie Mash-ups: Seven Brides for Twelve Angry Men

Imagine a guy with a really warped sense of humor and way too much time on his hands (probably me)sitting at his computer in a basement somewhere and an idea strikes him like a surprize defibrilation from behind ("Clear!" BZZT!).

"What's the latest craze in pop music and at the clubs these days?" he asks himself.

"Mash-ups." he answers.

You know, when the DJ mixes two songs together to make something that sounds completely new. Sometimes the songs that are, as they say: "Mashed-up" (or "Mash-up-ed"?) are songs that already sound the same (like Ke$ha's "Tik tok" and Katy Perry's "California Gurls"), sometimes the songs are from different worlds (I heard a Mash-up of Christina Aguilera's "Genie in a bottle" and Sonic Youth's "Dirty Boots", it was surprizingly good).

"But why hasn't this same idea caught on in the movie biz?" crazy basement guy continues, "I mean, they re-make movies all the time, why not mix a couple plot's together while you're at it?"

If I really had a lot of time on my hands I'd go get some footage from these movies and mix them together to make trailers for these movie mash-ups.

Here's the next best thing; I'll write about the movie mash-ups, and you can imagine the announcer voice from the trailers reading these to you out loud.

10 Movie Mash-ups:

1. The story of a family of share-croppers set in the 1930s. Forced to leave their home by the conditions of the great depression they accidentally arrive on the planet Seti Alpha 6 where they become pawns in Khan’s plans to exact revenge on Captain James T. Kirk of the starship Enterprise. The Grapes of Wrath of Khan.
2. The story of a southern family in crisis, focuses on the turbulent marriage of Maggie and Brick Pollitt as their daughters get married one by one to successively less and less orthodox Jewish men. Fiddler on a Hot Tin Roof.
3. After the death of one of America's top primates, one reporter tries to piece together the events that lead from Kong's simple beginnings on a secluded island to the giant-gorilla-billionaire-newspaper-tycoon’s fall from the top of the Empire state building. Citizen Kong.
4. After an apparently open and shut murder trial, eleven jurors vote guilty, but one man who stands for truth and justice dissents and convinces the rest of the jurors to kidnap seven women and coerce them into marriage. Seven Brides for Twelve Angry Men.
5. Stanley Orwell’s Dystopian classic, An autocratic government that rules a third of the earth faces destruction as the computer that controls everything, “HAL”, attempts to flush everyone into space. 1984: A Space Odyssey.
6. With their father away fighting in the Civil War, Joe, Meg, Beth and Amy grow up with their mother who teaches them the ways of the Wu Dan; trouble arises when they steal the green destiny sword. Little Women, Hidden Dragon.
7. Set During the civil war and reconstruction eras, Rhett Butler (Nicolas Cage) is forced to steal 50 cars in one night to save Scarlet O’Hara’s family plantation. Gone With the Wind in 60 seconds.
8. Starring Billy Crystal as Dirty Harry, a hard-boiled police detective who has little regard for the rules, but gets results, and Meg Ryan as “Scorpio”, a sniper who terrorizes the city of San Francisco. When Dirty Harry met Sally.
9. The night before “Princess Buttercup” (Robyn Wright-Penn) is to be married to prince Humperdink, she is kidnapped by 3 men from a neighboring kingdom, it is then up to Frankenstein (Boris Karloff) to rescue her. The Princess Bride of Frankenstein.
10. The ultimate disaster movie; the effects of global warming escalate rapidly, unexpectedly plunging the world into a new Ice age, the change happens to coincide with a full scale Alien Invasion!! The Independence Day After Tomorrow.

I facebooked your mom, and Googled myself... don't read too much into it...

I just googled my own name; for those of you from the Victorian era reading this by means of a medium or wizard of some sort, that means I went to this website http://www.google.ca/ and typed my own name into the search field. If you haven't done so recently, try it for yourself.

I found there is another Kris Hendricks who is a real estate professional of some kind in Seattle, another who is an Olympic bowling coach, there is a Kris Hendricks who is identified as an "agent" on website called KGBusa.com, there is a Kris Hendricks from Allentown, PA, who has a Facebook account and another Kris Hendricks who works in some capacity with water permits or development permits in and/or around phoenix Arizona.

I was already somewhat acquainted with this last Kris Hendricks as his or her email address is ludicrously similar to my own, and over the last several years I have received the occasional request to review this or that construction proposal and approve the sought after permits, which I have kindly done.

But in all seriousness, the thing that I found most interesting was that the 5th item that came up relating to my name was my old blog on myspace which if you're interested in wasting 15 to 20 minutes can be seen here: (the old blog has now been deleted, but it was boring anyway) the interesting thing about that is this; my MySpace profile didn't come up, my Facebook profile didn't come, Even this very blog I'm posting on right now doesn't come up until the 6th page, (I just checked again and for some reason this blog just moved up to the 2nd page... weird.) the last time I posted in that myspace blog was almost exactly a year ago, my last two posts there can be read in a matter of 3 or 4 minutes, and I found them quite entertaining, there's a short piece about George Orwell and Trent Reznor... I was going to plagiarize it and post it again here, but I'll just leave it there and put the link here, as I have already done.

If you haven't already deduced from my excessive rambling I'm typing this in the middle of the night, I'm practically sleep-blogging. I'll cut it short, but again, as I've promised several times, I'm actually working on something about George Orwell, and I'll soon post it. This one, however, does not include slanderous gossip about a certain modern industrial musician or profess visitations from the ghost of literature past, but it will delineate the connection between Our subject, Eric Arthur Blair, his literary predecessor and arch-nemesis Rudyard Kipling, the prophet of Imperialism, And, oddly enough, a third limb to make it a nice (though definitely not equilateral) triangle, Isaac Asimov.